I should be job hunting

I wonder, sometimes, why I’m so fond of sunglasses. I’ve no real fashion sense, no great grasp of the history of my favorite brands, and couldn’t tell you word one about design influences or concepts. All I know is what I like and what I don’t.

What it comes down to, then, is the conflict of who I am and who I want to be. I wear gaudy, attention-seeker shades most of the time, especially when I’m out and about, because I want to be noticed. I yearn for the contact so many take for granted. I try to express without words that there’s something underneath; if the eyes are the windows to the soul, then surely they’re something worth guarding.

Simultaneously, I want to hide, to disappear into the background, to be able to part the crowds and go about my business. I don’t want people to catch my furtive glances and think that I might have something in common with them, because I don’t. Or rather, I feel as though I don’t. If it doesn’t make sense to you, just imagine how fuckin’ difficult it is trying to live it.

Philosophy and sunglasses! This is why I have no future, because for every Peanut Butter and Chocolate there’s an arsenic and Tabasco.