This is what happens when spam bots try to get me to join their dating sites.
What are you here for?
I'm here to set the world on fire, by which I mean I'm a dangerous pyromaniac.
Describe yourself:
I'm tall, pasty, and somewhat good-looking from most angles. I blame my Irish heritage for the glow-in-the-dark whiteness and the unfortunate facial characteristics on fetal alcohol syndrome.
What I am looking for:
Someone who doesn't irk me. You can contribute to the cause by: not typing like you're texting your "bestie," showing at least a basic grasp of the English language (I'm no expert and I do make mistakes, but c'mon, unless you're one of those flipper-handed folk you have no excuse for writing like a retard), having something to talk about beyond Twilight or Sex in the City 2: Rich, Racist Bitches in Dubai, etc.. If this is too much to ask, do us both a favor and go away.
If this doesn't get me women, nothing will.
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