American politics

I'm a Canadian, yet am all too familiar with the state of American politics today. I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I listen to more American news than Canadian, but I'll be honest, our neighbours are just way more fuckin' entertaining. I mean, Stephen Harper is a multi-faceted fuck-up, don't get me wrong, but his hair-helmet and robotic delivery are positively charming in the face of, say, Sarah Palin, a woman because of whom the discourse has been lowered into the earth's magma core. To hear that addle-minded twit prattle on about the lamestream media - a phrase the use of which should be punishable by death, as its proponent(s) are dangerously retarded - at a Tea Bagger rally, her butchery of the English language notwithstanding (those immigants don't even speak pretty!), is akin to having your firstborn child slowly crushed in an industrial press, its screams echoing across eternity like a feedback loop in the Grand Canyon.

... That was probably the worst and longest metaphor I've ever attempted. You have my apologies for having had to suffer through it.

It's amusing to me, too, to hear President Obama referred to as a socialist (and/or fascist, ignoring that they're mutually exclusive) when he's to the right of our whacko conservative PM. Seriously, you get a politician in Canada who bends over and says, "Hey, fuck your subsidzed medicare! We're privatizing healthcare!" and see how far it gets you come election season. (Sidenote: Who the fuck thinks it's a good idea to make healthcare for-profit? When it's in a company's best interests to let you suffer and die, you know your system is fucked.)

And then there's Fox News. Oh, Fox News. To paraphrase Jon Stewart, being the thinnest kid in fat camp is hardly an accomplishment over which you can gloat. When Bill O'Reilly is the voice of reason within your organization, it's perhaps time to kill yourselves. Publicly. I'd say it's like the crazies running the asylum, but I'm not that optimistic. Crazy people at least have internally consistent logic; people like Glenn Beck are to logic what Hitler was to race relations.

I love the United States. I really do. I'm not stupid enough to believe that its worst and most vocal representatives are somehow indicative of the majority; I know how the world works, more or less. The stupidest people tend to be the loudest 'cause it's all they have going for them. I get it. But sometimes, I wish that the "elite" would come out of their "ivory towers" and just say, in no uncertain terms, "SHUT THE FUCK UP." There's no shame in being impolite to those who are too inept to be reasoned with.